Kony gets a major political endorsement, V-GER becomes self-aware after receiving change in a cup, and Rick Santorum spends his free time thinking about gay dolphins.
We make a personal appeal to Wikipedia, half of us get new jobs, and Joel dreams of the most amazing crappy phone ever.
To cope with the loss of Steve Jobs, we make fun of Android phones (which, as you know, are ridiculous). Also: our favorite Michele Bachmann quotes, iPhone Siri commands, and vajazzles.
Joel reads to Veteran’s in his support of the troops, Geoff celebrates the economy’s contribution to his free time, and politicians, now finished with campaigning, turn to what the Internet was made for.
The boys catch up after a long hiatus, Matthew seductively invites people to listen to his new album, and Libertarian Bob Barr dons a crown and brings democracy to African elephants.
Matthew tells old war stories of Highlander 2: Renegade Edition, Joel learns how to properly carve a frozen body, and we learn that Skype has an software-based accent translator. Also, we ask our audience: what would you most like to be spanked with?
We pick the most beautiful presidential candidates, discuss World of Warcraft asset taxation, and conduct a Dateline special on the historical time crisis, where time was running out, and was also in short supply. Not only that, but time would soon be in danger of existing in a lesser amount. Plus: TIPS FOR STUDENTS! Make your one page paper stretch to 10 pages!